Writing Samples

Good evening to you all. Today we come together to celebrate the marriage of David Millar and Vaughn Mudrick. This is a day of love and great celebration, as we recognize and commemorate the bond and dedication shared between them. One of the best parts of life is being able to surround ourselves with people who we admire and adore, and if we are lucky, we have them for a long while. I have the pleasure of officiating this union today.  I'm Gregory, a part of Vaughn and David's chosen family; that's a big theme for today, and I, like many of you here, are friends that are fortunate enough to be in this family. 

I’ve been watching adoringly as Vaughn and David’s relationship has grown over the years, and it’s been a marvel to behold. I've had the privilege of spending time with them at their lovely home in a far off land called Texas. Their dinners and cocktails are second to none: The time spent, attention to detail, how they are so good to their guests, and of course the bantering in the kitchen are truly a marvel. Couples who can be in the kitchen together preparing for a dinner party will stand the test of time. Period. Vaughn and David’s respect for one another, teamwork mentality, and love for Ellie have made them a strong and formidable unit: one that I’m so proud to call my family. Everyone here has also witnessed their love prosper: This day is made possible by that love, and the support of all of you. 

Love is what we all share. It's the great unifier — our one universal truth.  No matter who we are, where we've come from, or what we believe, we know this one thing: love is what we're doing right. That's why you are both standing here. We have all loved in our lifetime, and in this moment, we're reminded that the ability to love is the very best part of being alive.

The time has come, today is the day. Our grooms met by chance, but they’re here today because they’ve made a choice: to be with each other. They’ve chosen to be with someone who enhances them, challenges them, makes them think, understands their flaws, and makes everyday worth trying for. 

The Officiant Addresses the Couple

As long as I’ve had the privilege to know you both as a couple, there is no doubt that the essence of love and of life radiates from within you together. Together your positivity and symbiotic nature are infectious, but in the same respect, you’re amazing as individuals.

I asked Vaughn and David a series of questions about each other to help me personalize this ceremony.  One of my questions was if they wanted me to include any specific quotes or passages. The response was a resounding yes, and they knew who right away: Vaughn’s favorite author: Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut’s ideals on humanism and human experiences in general have resonated with Vaughn and David as they examine their life together. Picture our grooms, not long after they first met, lounging on the rooftop of an apartment building, sipping champagne, deep in conversation. And so it was, the magnificently simple quote: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.” What they’ve experienced and what they’d like to pass on to you all is to stop and acknowledge the good times: this has been something that circles back round again and again, and has become a self-declared credo of sorts. Enjoy the happy times: for instance, don’t save that bottle of really nice wine or champagne for a day that might not come. And remember to make a memory or a moment – to celebrate and find the joy in life’s smallest happenings. There is so much beauty around us, if only we see the world through brighter eyes. 

Happiness is what originally brought both of you together; it will continue to help you throughout your lives, and across dark times. You survived a dark time together, when so many couples did not. Coming into your world in early 2021, I got to see how you bonded through having so much time together, and what fun you had creating signature cocktails and having your monogram with two M’s interwoven which I see as a metaphor of your relationship. I think of how you struggled with social isolation, not being around any family or friends, but you had one another. 

When I think of our grooms, the words tolerance, patience, and acceptance, come to mind. Co-parenting Ellie throughout the pandemic and through multiple eye surgeries, and the big freeze, brought you all closer as a family: you both are her world. Being puppy parents has given you so much joy. 

It’s the little things that really show how compatible a couple is: How David prepares for both of them to go on vacation: the perfect way to pack Vaughn's shirts. How Vaughn makes David's cocktails just right. The idea of balance and harmony. It’s also fun to see how their backgrounds and upbringings differ from each other: New Jersey vs. Scotland: two lands, small but mighty, and full of fervor. 

Our grooms started their dating life right here in Asbury: one of their most telling responses to help form this ceremony is: “Our definition of a perfect moment together requires a few things: a comfortable chair, an elevated spot overlooking the water, champagne, and each other.” What else could we ask for? Tonight, in this beautiful building, is where they created  their first perfect moment together. A week before that enchanting evening, David and Vaughn serendipitously met in New York City. David was living in Brooklyn, and Vaughn was on a business trip in Manhattan. They hit it off on the first date, but then they encountered the challenges of proximity. Luckily, Vaughn was visiting friends here in Asbury the following weekend.  David, the poor dear, tried to be coy when inconspicuously wanting Vaughn to invite him: persistent and coy. And dear Vaughn was not catching on…

David: “I’ve always wanted to see Asbury Park, I’ve heard so many great things”

Vaughn: “Oh, cool. I’ll make you a list of things to see and do.” And before Vaughn could even suggest a time to meet, David said excitedly, 

David: “Well - I've already memorized the train schedule - I could be there by noon.” 

Persistence pays off. And the rest is history. Outside on the deck here at Watermark, is the exact spot where they knew they were meant for each other four years ago. 

To our dear grooms, throughout your lives, you’ll be there for one another at your best, at your worst, when you do great, and when you really don’t, when things are going well, and when things are not, when it’s time to smile, and when you can’t hold back tears. Each of you recognizes the other’s strengths and praises them, while motivating and supporting each other in areas of growth. David, you calm Vaughn just with your presence — Vaughn, you make David feel safe, cherished, and at home.  As the years pass by in your marriage, it can become easy to get lost in each other's faults — always remember what you love most about each other is your ability to make the other complete. I encourage you to take this next step together in the same fashion; love wholeheartedly, intensely, and without an end in sight. Love strongly, passionately, and extraordinarily as there are too many mediocre things in life; your love is not one of them. 

May the promises you make to one another today, be lived out to the end of your lives. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all begins. Vaughn and David, do you, with your family and friends as your witnesses, present yourselves willingly, and of your own accord to be joined in marriage?

Declaration of Intent

Vaughn, do you take David to be your husband?
Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, and keep him from harm in sickness & in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto him?

Vaughn’s response: I do (PLACES RING ON DAVID’S FINGER)

David, do you take Vaughn to be your husband?
Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, and keep him from harm in sickness & in health; and forsaking all others, keep only unto him?

David’s response: I do (PLACES RING ON VAUGHN’S FINGER)

To love and comfort one another for all of eternity…this is the stuff from which fairytales are made.  By the power invested in me through the Universal Life Church, I now pronounce you husband and husband; you may seal your love with a kiss. 

Applause subsides. Offering the first toast to the husbands. I’d like to raise a glass for our grooms: To a long and happy life. Now everyone repeat after me: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

Good afternoon everyone. I want to welcome all of you to beautiful Somerset today, to celebrate the marriage of Anthony Dinardo and Brooke Kaufman.  This is a day of great celebration and reverence: Today,  we come together to recognize and commemorate the sacred love and dedication shared between these two wonderful people.  Anthony and Brooke would like to thank their guests for being here, and would like you to know that each of you were invited here because you have played an integral part in how their lives have intertwined. They have worked tirelessly over the last year to make today unforgettable — unbeknownst to them, they actually had to do very little to make it just that.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Dana — Brooke’s prettiest, smartest, loveliest, older sister.  I’m one of three Kaufman sisters, wife to that handsome man right there, and Mommy to our amazing flower girl, Brooke’s niece, Carmela.

I’ve been watching adoringly as Anthony and Brooke’s relationship has grown over the years, and it’s been a privilege to behold.   Their respect for one another, teamwork mentality, and love of their families, has made them a strong and formidable unit: one that I’m so proud to call my family.   

All of you are Anthony & Brooke’s family and friends, who have also witnessed their love prosper over the last four years. This day is made possible not only because of their love for one another, but also through the grace and support of all of you.

As a wedding officiant, I have the privilege of overseeing the beautiful moment when two hearts are joined together — it is my greatest honor to be asked to facilitate this wonderful experience, and I thank you both from the bottom of my heart.  Just in case you were curious about my qualifications and previous officiating experience, I’m a thoroughly educated minister of the Universal Life Church, having earned my ordnance in only 15 minutes.

We also remember and reflect on those who cannot be with us physically today, or those who’ve passed on.  We think fondly especially of our Grandma, Arline Kaufman who left us only a few months ago — one of Brooke’s best friends, and one of the coolest ladies you’d ever meet.  Brooke, I know Grandma is blushing with happiness and pride looking down on us; she’s proud that you’re marrying someone as honest, kind, and as handsome as Anthony.  Not to mention, I know she’d say “You look BEAUTIFUL, sugar.”  

Love is what we all share. It's the great unifier — our one universal truth.  No matter who we are, where we've come from, or what we believe, we know this one thing: love is what we're doing right. That's why you are both standing here, and that's why your loved ones are here, in love and support for the bride and groom. We have all loved in our lifetime, and in this moment, we're reminded that the ability to love is the very best part of our existence.

The time has come, today is the day.  Today is a celebration; a celebration of love, commitment, friendship, family, and of two people who are in it for forever.  They fell in love by chance, but they’re here today because they’ve made a choice:  They are choosing each other.  They’ve chosen to be with someone who enhances them, challenges them, makes them think, makes them smile, and makes every day brighter. 

The Officiant Addresses the Couple

As long as I’ve had the privilege to know you both as a couple, there is no doubt that the essence of love and of life radiates from within you together.  Together your positivity and thirst for life are infectious, but in the same respect, you’ve been amazing as individuals.

I asked Brooke and Tony a few questions about each other to help me personalize this ceremony.  One of my questions was: “What did you first notice about one another?”  Both of them similarly answered “their smile, their happiness.”  I’m sure everyone can agree the two of you are the happiest, most positive people they know in their lives, and that’s why you gravitated towards each other.  Both of you are wonderful friends, colleagues, siblings, and children, always making people feel as delightful, silly, and loving as you two are.  As you start together on the journey of marriage, be sure to always remember that happiness isn’t measured in money or possessions, but in smiles, joy, and exquisite memories — especially when things inevitably get hard.  Happiness is what originally brought both of you together; it will continue to help you build throughout your lives, and help you across dark times.

I also asked Brooke and Tony “What do you love most, and what do you admire or respect about one another?” You answered collectively and with utmost certainty that the dedication and commitment to both of your families is what you admire most.  As most of you know, Brooke is Jewish, Tony is Italian, and when you really break it down — culturally we’re not that different.  We thrive on guilt, highly prioritize education, and are overwhelmingly close to our families — the Italians just usually have a better spread at meals.  But in all seriousness, to quote my dad, “Nothing is more important than family.”  Both of you are incredibly selfless, always there to help around the house, watch the kids, and most importantly — being there when we’re lucky enough to all get together.  Brooke and Tony — it’s important you know that Sarah, Alessandra, Bianca, Andrew, Ashley, Momma and Poppa Dinardo, Dad, Mom and Misuk, Aunt Karen and Sheryl, and all the Lolo’s and Titas, are always here for you too. 

They’re there at your best, at your worst, when you do great, and when you really don’t, when things are going well, and when things are not, when it’s time to smile, and when you can’t hold back tears. As of today, you’ll be starting on the path to build your own family together — in good time, (I know we have some anxious grandmothers in the audience).  We all can’t wait, and we look forward to watching you two form the next generation together, instilling the values of family in them as well.  

You also both noted how you bring out the best in each other.  Each of you recognizes the other’s strengths and praises them, while motivating and supporting each other in areas of growth.  Tony, you take Brooke’s wavering thoughts and fears and delicately calm them just by your presence — you make her feel safe, warranted, and at home.  Finding peace sometimes has been hard for Brooke, knowing she can find balance within you, makes her the positive Brooke we all know and love.  Brooke, Tony answered that as successful and driven as you are, you motivate him to always push to be the best version of himself he can be — probably because you know it’s within him all along.  As the years pass by in your marriage, it can become easy to get lost in each other's faults — always remember what you love most about each other is your ability to make the other better, no matter the circumstances.  It’s important throughout your marriage to take the time to continually recognize each other's brilliant qualities, and outstanding triumphs, as you construct your life together.

Lastly, I asked “What are you most excited about now that you’ll be married?”  I loved the way the two of you answered.  Anthony, you looked forward to the future, growing together and making a life with Brooke.  Brooke, you answered “knowing he’s all mine!” — everyday looking down at your ring as a reminder of how lucky you are to have him as your husband.  As someone who’s got a few years of marriage under her belt — let me share a few more things you can look forward to with your future partner:

1. Someone to consistently have to remind that the clothes go IN the basket, not NEXT to the basket — but someone who’ll start the laundry for you when you can’t seem to get it started yourself.  They will always be looking for the next opportunity to help you, and show you they appreciate you.

2. Someone who’ll probably rarely share the same interest in TV shows or movies as you, but is the first one to snuggle up and pop the popcorn, because it's what you love to do.

3. Someone who thinks you're beautiful or handsome regardless of the endless amount of work out/basketball shorts/ripped t-shirts you both wear - the same person who holds your sweatshirt tight when they miss you (and always comments how cute your butt looks).

4. Someone who loves to share your funny stories about how silly you are with your friends, because they can’t go one minute without smiling about how you make them laugh.

5. Someone who always forgets at least one thing when they shop for groceries, even if you send them a list — but they saw your favorite snack on sale and made sure you got it when they got home.

6. Someone who can recite everything you order when you order take out or fast food — because there’s nothing more that brings them joy than to ease your hanger.

7. Someone who spends and someone who saves — one who’s always conscious of the future and establishing the safety net, and the other who’s there to remind them that money’s no good when you’re dead — to take it, and make memories you can’t replace.

8. Someone for when you doubt yourself, who shows you you’re more capable than you give yourself credit for — leading you to the light, to help you recognize the same.

9. Someone who you already love as a human, husband or wife, and friend, and watching them become a father or mother to your children.  You’ll never be able to look at them the same, because before your eyes — they have become even more amazing than you could ever imagine.

10.Someone to always put you first — your dreams, your feelings, your wants and desires, because nothing is more important than seeing you peaceful, fulfilled and truly content.

Anthony, it’s not hard to see how Brooke fell so hard for you.  You are handsome, hardworking, and are always smiling and embracing life.  You infuse your life with passion in everything that you do from being a teammate, colleague, friend, brother and son.  You are kind, thoughtful, and considerate beyond measure. I am so thankful that Brooke found a person who fuels her spirit, embraces her dreams, and provides her with love and affection every single day.  I have no doubt in my mind that you’re nothing less than the best for each other.

Brooke, the thing I love most about you is that your loyalty is unmatched.  You’re the best youngest sister, Zia to Conrad, Emmie, Carmela, and Jack Jack, and a thoughtful, generous daughter to our amazing parents.  I know you’ll take all of these qualities into your marriage, being the partner Anthony not only needs, but whole heartedly deserves. 

This love was no accident; it was the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, affection, mutual respect and commitment.  Brooke and Anthony, I encourage you to take this next step of your lives together in the same fashion; loving wholeheartedly, intensely, and with full force without an end in sight.  Love fiercely, love strongly, love so hard and full of fire that you cannot hold yourself back, because your passion burns brighter than your fears.  Love madly, passionately, and extraordinarily as there are too many mediocre things in life, and your love is not one of them. 

Embrace this feeling; “You will ask for a match and I will give you a wildfire. I don’t know how to love small.” Know your love is something to be reckoned with, respected and treasured. 

May the promises you make to one another today, be lived out to the end of your lives. Tomorrow can bring you the greatest of joys, but today is the day it all begins.

*Names have been changed 

Hi everyone! As most of you know, I’m Jill’s sister, and I’m honored to be making this speech tonight. As a fair warning, I am an accountant, so words are generally not my thing, but here it goes anyway…

Jill and I essentially grew up as twins, though she is a month and a week older. We possess the most fraternal twin relationship you could have. The “Biff” to my “Binky”.  She was always bigger than me so she looked like the big sister. In our family, she was probably considered the bad one growing up, but more likely the good one now. 

All our lives, we constantly confused people. Despite having the same last name, most people didn’t connect us together which was both good and bad. When we were very young, Jill was the popular one and I was more or less the extremely hyper class clown. In high school, she was JNCO jeans and I was tracksuits. 

We were always close growing up, but certainly fought like sisters do. Which means we got grounded...a lot.  It was kind of a running joke on the block.  In fairness, we were pretty destructive which our parents thought they could get around by locking us out of the house anytime they weren’t home. Which they did, a lot, and we broke in a lot.  Did you ever have one of those moments as a kid or maybe as an adult where you had instant regret?  Perhaps your life flashed before your eyes. Well, we did. That would be the day we chose to break in via a sledgehammer and pickaxe to the garage door. At first it was quite comical.  Mainly because in order to get the door to open the rest of the way, Jill took several steps back, and ran full force at the door to try to bum rush it open. At that point however, the lock was essentially useless, so the door flung open with ease, wood splintered everywhere, and Jill went sailing across the kitchen floor. At the time she reminded me of the baby seal performance we saw at Seal world. After the laughter subsided, the inevitable horror sunk in. It’s a miracle we are here today. Since then we have gotten a set of keys, and I’ve mastered the break in via a simple credit card.  

My sister was and will always be pretty stubborn and tough.  She used to arm wrestle guys, including my uncles, and at some points won—although they would say she was cheating...and knowing Jill, she probably was. She had to have her way, and she usually got it...She could be kind of relentless in that way, and a bit of a rebel.  In more recent years, she has mom-ed out, wifed out, and even churched out.  I don’t know what you did to her, Jack, but it seems to be working.  She’s overcome a lot, and I’m so proud of the woman she has become today. 

One of Jill’s best qualities is that she makes others feel comfortable and included. She is friendly, nonjudgmental and always has your back.  She’s authentic: Jill is Jill pretty much everywhere.

So as not to embarrass my sister—well, any further, I’d now like to say a couple of things about the bride and groom. 

Jill and Jack, congratulations, and I love you both. You guys have grown so much together in the last ten years. You’re a great balance, with Jill being the caring, emotional one, and Jack being the strong, silent type. My sister has been the glue for our family for a long time, and now she’s doing the same for her own family with the perfect teammate. 

Jack, thank you for being so sweet to my sister. I know Jack to be a hardworking, easy going guy who has always taken care of his family. I appreciate how much he makes Jill laugh on the daily. You’re both loyal, supportive, and loving. You went from best friends to husband and wife. There’s such a spark between you two that I know will only grow with time. I wish you guys many years of happiness, as you make even more memories, with lots of love, cuddles, and plenty of fireworks. 

There are not enough words to express how much I hate public speaking, and also how much I love you. When you told me you wanted to write your own vows I started to have major anxiety even thinking about talking in front of everyone. But the more I saw how excited you were to do this, the more I knew I needed to do it for you. 

To quote our theme song, “Ain’t it funny how life changes. You wake up and nothing is the same.” It’s amazing how much life has changed since we started planning our wedding…

I’m not sure where to even begin. We have been together for almost six years now and have grown so much as individuals but also as partners. You have taught me to let go of things, relax and to just laugh at life. You truly are the other half to who I am, and force me not to take life so seriously, or to care what others think. 

If anyone would’ve told me when we first got engaged and started planning our wedding that we would’ve had our son standing up here with us, I would’ve told them they were crazy! But I couldn’t imagine him not being here to watch his mom and dad say ‘I do’. 

So babe, here are a few things I would like to promise to you... 

I promise to always try to be the best wife and mom. 

I promise to try to not get mad over things I cannot control.

I promise to not charge you more than 25 cents for every time you lose the remote or your phone. But let’s face it, at this point I think you owe the jar well over 100 bucks by now! 

I promise to love you and take care of you when you’re sick with a man cold, and think you’re dying.

I promise to let you be the one to always clean Oreo’s litter box, because I know how much you love to do that.

I promise to never lie to you unless it is next to you.

I promise to keep growing and changing with you. 

I promise to love you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health.

And I promise to always be by your side loving you and supporting you throughout this amazing journey as husband and wife. 

***

Being married is about finding that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life. And lucky for me, I found you. 

Nicole, I stand here today in front of family and friends to vow my unconditional love and devotion to you. There are a million things that I love about you. You are caring, compassionate and beautiful. I love how you are honest and always say what’s on your mind and how you’re usually the loudest person in any room, unless. I love how passionate you are about your job and helping your students, and I love that you brought beautiful Oreo into my life. You have made me a better person in so many ways, and you really are my better half. 

And on top of all of that, you’ve given me and our families the greatest gift possible and the reason we are standing here today instead of June 21st, in giving us Owen. The last three months have been by far the best in my life. Words can’t describe how much I love that kid. I know you’re going to be the best mother ever to him, and to the four or five other kids we have. 

I promise to take care of you when you’re sick, and make you happy when you’re sad. 

I promise we will travel the world together. 

I promise to make you laugh everyday, even if you’re laughing at me. 

I promise to say I’m sorry when I’m wrong.

I promise to be faithful, supportive, and to always make our family's happiness my first priority.

I promise I won’t bring any cats home without your permission.  

I promise to always eat your delicious cooking....except your broccoli cheddar soup. We can go to Panera for that. 

I promise to tell you I love you every night before you go to bed.

I promise not to make you read during Passover Seder if you really don’t want to. 

I promise to be the best father possible to Owen and all of his siblings.

And lastly, I promise I’ll love you for the rest of my life. 

Good evening. This moment has finally come. And don’t you all look wonderful! Our fairytale begins: Part one. A shy little boy, a sweet little girl, a brilliant smile, the chosen one. These sentiments depict a marvelous day in 1997. It was my first week in a new school. Natalie shared her scissors with me for a project, and we were friends from then on. I'm still captivated by that smile 22 years later. Side note: she ordinarily isn’t very good at sharing.

Today’s an extraordinary day. My sister said about mine and Natalie’s friendship years ago that we’re like brother and sister, a married couple—(celibate, of course), soulmates, and best friends all rolled into one. I’m so happy that my best friend has found an amazing husband. 

It can be hard describing someone you know so well, and especially because I got the side of Natalie that most didn't: when she’s kind, sensitive, and patient. For others…well, there are some things better left unsaid. But alas, she remains ever so lovely: Particularly with John by her side. 

Natalie and I spent hours in our own little world, just us two, precisely how we wanted it. Back then, I couldn’t convince her to play with the Barbie Dolls on the shelves in her room, in their display cases...she’d say, "Poodle, we can’t, they're collectibles." I caved in eventually… 

The years went by…Our nickname caught on. Though we can’t remember why we have the same one. Our life together: endless memories at the beach, shopping, seeing so many movies especially sappy ones, you trying to get me to work out in high school, our infamous road trip to Charleston even though you get so carsick, and the countless hours we’ve spent chatting about life. I can’t picture an aspect of life that’s meaningful where you weren’t there. In college Natalie and I had our English/Education study dates. When editing her papers I’d have to say, “Poodle, you can’t write how you speak.” She was never eloquent and fluffy. Such an Aquarius, so practical. 

Every Will needs a Grace, and I’ve had the prettiest Grace of all. “When she arrives, all eyes are upon her. When absent, she’s the subject of universal conversation.” I wish I could say I wrote that line…but I didn’t. At 21 our nightlife adventures began: naturally, she was desired by many, and dazzled even more of the gays. But tough shit for them, I wasn’t sharing my Grace. 

We’re still quite baffled over how often we think the same things at the same times, yet we have such opposite tastes. However, opposites do attract, and in John’s case, this worked out pretty well.

Part two of our fairytale is of course dedicated to the bride and groom: for today is their day, their place in the sun. But because I met John only a month after his wife, I thought to share this story with you. Side note: John, I adore you beyond comprehension.

John stumbled upon such a colorful piece of Natalie’s world at my birthday party, in 2013. We were in Liza Minnelli's old suite at the Empress Hotel. When we went downstairs to the club, he had guys buying him drinks at the bar while Natalie and I danced under the infamous bubbles. John was a dream, a good sport, and a keeper. Here we are in such bliss, six years later.

A woman’s gay best friend can be the greatest buffer and insight for any husband—we come highly recommended. John has become much more in tune over the years…I’m so proud. 

John helped Natalie to spread her wings. The first time in her life leaving her childhood home was to make a home with him. After helping them move in I thought, if they can make it through the first year they can handle anything. Well done to you both.   

It’s amazing how life changes…now with baby poodle who brings so much joy. You two are incredible parents. Playing house these past few weeks—all 3 ½ of us—has shown how much you’ve grown as a couple. How I’ll miss the silly songs we sing—all day long—and your amusing bouts of bickering. 

I speak for many when I say we’ve been lucky to have John in our lives. Thankfully he’s calm, collected, and easy-going with a great sense of humor—a perfect balance to his wife. John, thank you for always loving me as you have, and for sharing this very special lady with me.

John’s smile is beautiful, especially when he actually smiles for pictures. Two electrifying smiles for a beautiful couple. He is his wife’s curious counterpart...especially with his countless questions. We’re all thrilled that he popped the question when he came home from his trip last summer.

A toast to the bride and groom, I love you both very much. May you always see what’s in one another’s hearts as you embark on your journey as husband and wife, as parents, and as the best of friends.

My partner in life and in love does not take easily to compliments, which is precisely why I shower him with them even more. Thank you to everyone for coming here tonight, and attending a milestone birthday party for this gorgeous man, who as luck would have it, recently became a Scorpio.

Tonight we pay tribute to him for his birthday, and reflect a bit on his character. Happy birthday, my dear Michael, and congratulations on first gracing this world with your presence a REALLY long time ago. Luckily for all of us, you've acquired more than half a century of knowledge and wisdom! Now, it would be really fantastic if you actually remembered any of it.  Makes me wonder what the future has in store...

With such a long, seemingly endless list of compliments to get through, we’ll cover both what’s on the inside and also the outside. All these years with you have been so wonderful, and we are truly blessed to have each other and our four amazing children. 6 glorious years. My Michael…I just have to share with you all that he unfortunately and constantly questions himself!  Even though he really shouldn’t. 

I’d like to share some very true sentiments with you all...THE FACTS: 

• Michael, you are a great husband, son, brother, and friend; but as a father, you really do shine! 

• You are a healthy balance of kind and firm. We made it through the crazy years of having teens, and now it’s so great to see you with the kids as young adults. They still need you, just differently as they get older. 

• You PLAY like it’s your actual full time job. I love how you enjoy using all the crap you buy on Amazon, because of how it makes you so happy. 

• You are so emotionally in tune with the kids; you hurt when they hurt and feel their pain, you pick them up when they fall and encourage them to try again, you guide them when they need direction in life, and you celebrate their achievements when they succeed. It’s a marvel to watch you with them. You always make sure they know you love them.  

Any man can be a father, but it takes someone very special to be a dad; trust me, I know. Michael, you are truly magical in this role, and the kids are beyond blessed to have your love, strength, and devotion. 

My husband is such a unique and very noteworthy individual. An avid music lover, and a secret romantic. A retired police officer, who also happens to be an excellent cook, AND tremendously handy? In my world, before meeting you, that wasn’t really possible. Thank you for proving me wrong. Look at this man, breaking stereotypes across the board! I love everything that you cook, especially while we’re away on vacation in Cape May, so I don’t have to do it...But we all know who's the better chef.  

I am so proud when I tell you that it’s your dedication, your achievements, your constant desire to be more in life, and all your hard work that we are so grateful for. As a police officer, you fought to protect others with such bravery. After having to leave the force so tragically, you survived a nearly fatal accident, and have since become a successful business owner. Your life path was altered, but you’ve accomplished so much in five decades! But who's counting? You have provided for your family so well in every possible way, which you should be very proud of. It’s because of you that we have our beautiful world. 

I have to tell you the one sad reality of turning 50...the candles cost more than the cake. Growing together as a couple, I’ve noticed some things about you...The fact that you still want to play hockey truly baffles me...but in such a good way. I mean, your back goes out more than we do these days, and you still love to play. // But even at fifty, you really look fantastic, and as youthful as ever. Don’t worry about the gray hairs, it just means you’ve spent more time becoming wise with age. 

As your wife, I have to say PLEASE take care of yourself, without you, where would our family be? Seeing you in any kind of pain is such a nightmare and just breaks my heart. But it’s a testament to your strength, how well you went through all of that makes me admire you so much more. I’m just glad we got through all of that together. But I’ll be honest, no more heart attacks, and no more spinal surgeries...I’m far too young to not have you around…

I think the fun part about giving a speech for your husband is pointing out some of his cute little flaws that we just can’t get enough of at times. Michael, you are incredibly tenacious when you want something...and when you start arguing about something...damn...It’s the Sicilian in you.

I think it’s hysterical that YOU think you’re never wrong. Delirium is a funny thing. But all in all, we have to take the good with the bad, and I guess dealing with your adorable stubbornness is one of the lesser perks of being your wife. But there are too many other perks to count... 

 Helping others is in your DNA, the way you are always up for helping anyone in need shows how remarkably selfless you are. You don’t ask for credit or acknowledgement for these acts of kindness, and we pay tribute to you for them tonight. We owe you a debt of gratitude greater than you’d ever claim. The world is certainly a better place with you in it. You are so fun loving, and I adore your sarcasm. One of these days I’ll get you to see that the glass is half full...so thick-headed, you are. Thank you for being so wonderfully you. 

I know I speak for everyone here when I say we have all learned so much from you over the years, your body of knowledge is impressive, and oddly bewildering. You've brought such an immense amount of joy and adventure into our lives, and I’m glad to say that there’s never a dull moment. 

But all jokes aside, thank you for being YOU! It’s no secret that you had me at the first “hello,” with your piercing, sexy blue eyes and your confident masculinity...but really it was the flowers you had placed on the table for me. Thank you for sweeping me off my feet, for making it so easy to shower you with compliments, and for giving me the opportunity to tell you I love you tonight, and always: Love you too much. Here’s to fifty more years of absolute craziness, fun and supporting and encouraging each other through all of life’s thicks and thins. 

Thank you for making my world so beautiful. I’d like to toast to my love, and wish him a very happy birthday: my beloved husband, Michael, the most amazing man in the entire universe.